A Childfree-By-Choice Man Threatened Divorce After His Wife Babysat Her Niece — For a Week

Every couple enters a long-term relationship with an idea of ​​what they want in the near and distant future. That can mean determining what kind of lifestyle they want, whether they want pets or children, or other important factors that affect or effect compatibility.
A poster on the /AITA subreddit shared that she and her husband — who had already decided they would go child-free by choice (respectable! We get it!) — met a hiccup when a family emergency brought them up care entrusted with the temporary triage of young children. Because her husband went kind of nuclear at the mere thought of having to live with a toddler in the family for just a week and a half.
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"My sister asked me if we would take her daughter as she had to go out of town for a surgical procedure and would not be able to care for her daughter while she recovers," the OP wrote. "I directed this through my husband, who immediately said 'no' and shook his head. I said it was my niece and just because we weren't big fans of having kids ourselves doesn't mean we can't do the family a favor. It ended in a fight, but I took her anyway."
AITA for accommodating my niece despite my husband's complaints, even though we have no children? by AmItheAsshole
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She went on to say that her husband was quite cold with the toddler, refusing to do anything with her and claiming that she "shouldn't have brought a child into [her house]."
It also got a little more chaotic when she said he "ranted" about how a week and a half of toddler care would make her "change [her] mind about having kids and he won't take it." and threatens divorce if she even suggests changing this OG plan.
Some commenters noted that bringing the child in without her husband's okay was a little problematic, but that the overwhelming, aggressive "no" to being able to help OP's sister and the lack of flexibility and kindness in the situation are red flags.
"People say Y T A because he said 'no' and that should be a joint decision and I would normally agree, but I would be quite upset if my partner told me not to help my sister in a difficult situation can help so it's not like it's permanent. For no real reason other than he doesn't like kids," said one commenter, r/Ceecee_soup. "This isn't a social visit, it's a family 'emergency' (maybe not urgent, but still vulnerable). And then the comments on divorce when mentioning the desire to have children? That's a big jump, shows where his head is at (spoilers: doesn't focus on sister's surgery and niece's well-being) and is just generally a pretty AH thing."
Other commenters expressed similar concerns that the "lack of kindness and generosity" in the situation felt really grave and off-putting. After all, voluntary child freedom doesn't inherently mean "I will forever remain cruel, cold, and indifferent to children in all contexts" — it generally just means choosing to play a different role in your community and family. And that can occasionally mean helping a sister or brother.
And I can't help but emphasize r/Throwing3and20's amazing point about one of the best perks of being childless: "One of the fun things about being childless is borrowing other people's kids and then giving them back. ”
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