Busch wants to give your lazy, freeloading dog an actual paying job
I once tried to explain the concept of work to my dog. I decided he needed to understand why I spend so much time each day sitting at my desk in front of a computer instead of playing with it.
"If I spend all day writing this stuff called" content "," I told him, "they give me money in return that I can use to buy you groceries and toys. That's where the food and toys go because I'm sitting at my desk in front of the computer instead of playing with you. "
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We were out for a walk at the time. Shortly after I finished my little speech, he found something off the trail that smelled interesting. By the time he finished the investigation, he must have completely forgotten what we were talking about. He doesn't care about work. Or maybe being a pet and delivering unconditional love is more work than I realize.
However, this morning I learned what is the greatest opportunity for dogs right now. Busch Beer is looking for a dog CTO, a chief tasting officer, for its Busch Dog Brew line (which is truly non-alcoholic pork broth). The CTO has some serious tasks: he tests new products, leads the expansion of the flavor portfolio and acts as a brand ambassador. The salary is 20,000 bones, um, dollars plus pet insurance and all the Bush Dog Brew a dog can drink. (I don't know, this seems a little low to me given the level of responsibility, but maybe there is room for negotiation. Dogs are good at that.)
A press release states: "To achieve this position, some qualifications require a refined palate, an excellent sense of smell, and while not required, a command of English would be remarkable."
Joe pretends to know what work is
To apply, dogs must post their photos on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram with the hashtag #BuschCTOContest and a brief explanation of why they have the qualities of a great CTO. (The official rules say nothing about how to get help from people, so I'll assume that's okay.) The competition runs April 13-28. May the best dog win! But not my Joe, because when I asked him if he wanted to be CTO, he let out a big wail, which I think means damn no. Or maybe just, "Take me for a walk and we can discuss it."
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