Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell share 'scary and stressful' Christmas tree shopping incident
Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell regularly talk about their two daughters in interviews and on social media, but they only shared what could be their most relatable moment of parenting to date. The couple shared their stressful trip to Home Depot to buy Christmas trees on a new episode of Shepard's Armchair Expert Podcast and how they made the experience an educational moment for their family.
Bell said the couple faced some tension en route to Home Depot after a dispute over priorities. Bell realized when they arrived that she had forgotten her purse and mask, and picked up Shepard's credit card and mask while he waited at the checkout with their daughters Lincoln, 7 and Delta, 6.
According to Shepard, a woman on the pickup line "tried to go the wrong way" in one lane. She didn't move so he went to her car to let her know that she needed to make a backup. "She rolled up her window and yelled at me," he says. So Shepard went back to his truck and started backing up. Others followed suit, but nothing improved for Shepard.
"She claps out the window very antagonistically," he says. Move on to Bell, who says she heard "scream" while screaming a tree. "Funny enough, [it was] my husband's voice," she remembers, thinking, "I need him in a mask if he wants to talk to another person." So she dropped the Christmas tree and ran over to it.
The woman moved her car and, according to Shepard, "barely misses hitting the truck," which annoys him again.
Meanwhile, the couple's kids were "in the front seat of the truck in a wrestling match," Shepard said, noting that it was "overall too much for me at the time." So he told the kids he would go sit outside to decompress. "Now the windows are down, now they're both hanging out the window, they're screaming ... Delta is hurt, now Delta is screaming and crying, now Lincoln says, 'You have to come in here, she's hurt" ... one of the kids opens the door to another car ... "said Shepard.
Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard shared their "horror movie" experience buying a Christmas tree with their daughters in the latest installment of "Armchair Expert". (Nathan Congleton / NBCU Photo Bank / NBCUniversal via Getty Images)
When Bell got to the scene, she said, "I see my hot-faced man trying to calm down ... The girls knock on the windows, honk, scream and cry ... I say, 'Oh, ok, Here we go.'"
Bell said she got in the truck to "hear them ... they have a lot of complaints about papa and how he handled it". Bell joked that her kids were smart enough to come up with phrases like "I was scared" too.
So Bell explained to them that what the woman was doing was “rude” and that her father “was in a situation that made his temper flare up and that he was in a situation where he needed some privacy. "
It got even more stressful from then on: the kids struggled with wrapping paper rolls when they got home, the tap water stopped working in their house while they watered their tree, and Bell found at the end of the night that she had lost Shepard's credit Card she called "the icing on the cake". (She later found it next to a planter in her house.)
Bell said she ended the night talking to her daughters and said, "Although tonight felt scary and stressful ... we still have to say how grateful we are."
The story is oh so understandable and can make any parent wonder about the best way to decompress when life and your kids are marginalizing you.
It's important to explain to children that everyone, including adults, needs time to breathe, says Dr. Gina Posner, a certified pediatrician at MemorialCare Orange Coast Medical Center in Fountain Valley, California, told Yahoo Life. "It's okay for you to do it and for you to do it too," she says. "Explain to them that when you return you will feel much better and things can go a lot smoother."
It's also important to understand that you need these moments, says Dr. Robert Keder, Connecticut Children's Developmental Pediatrician, told Yahoo Life. "First and foremost, before you can help your child meet their own needs, you must put on your oxygen mask first," he says.
John Mayer, clinical psychologist and author of Family First: Find Your Balance in Life, tells Yahoo Life that it's okay to acknowledge that parenting is difficult even when you're not stressed. "What parents don't understand is that the energy, responsibility, and attention it takes to be in an activity with children is depleted for adults," he says.
When you're not in a hot moment, Keder says it's important to teach your children emotions and learn to regulate them. "We assume that children only learn emotional regulation and not that," he says. For this reason, he recommends providing your children with tools that they can use to identify emotions, such as: B. label them and associate them with color-coded zones (for example, a red zone is when you're incredibly angry, while a yellow zone can be when you're about to be upset.
"That can give children the tools to understand what those emotions are," says Keder.
To explain in advance that you sometimes need a break, it is a good idea to give this talk using examples that your children can relate to, Thea Gallagher, Clinic Director at the Center for Anxiety Treatment and Assessment at the University of Pennsylvania Perlman School of Medicine, Yahoo Life tells. "Saying that mom and dad need to relax when they're stressed doesn't mean anything to kids," she says. She recommends talking to your children about a time when they were at the end of their rope, such as when you asked them to clean their room when they were tired or how they felt when they were a little sibling Ripped Favorite Pokemon Card. "Using examples from their lives can help them understand empathy," says Gallagher.
When that inevitable moment comes when you hit your breaking point, Keder recommends telling your kids just that. "Say," Honey, I'm angry. I won't punch or scream, but I'll take a deep breath or relax for five minutes, ”he says. If they keep pushing your buttons, they repeat themselves. "It's important to teach them to respect these decompressing moments," says Keder.
And if your child doesn't respect your request, Keder recommends reaching for something or activity in an emergency, such as For example, after watching a video on your phone or playing a fun board game that keeps your child busy. "If you need it, it's fine," he says.
Overall, though, it's okay to experience those moments here and there, says Dr. Anthony Tobia, a psychiatrist at Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson Medical School, told Yahoo Life. "This is only part of normal parenting," he says. However, if you do this a lot, it could be a sign that you are struggling with something else. "It can be as simple as you need more alone time in your day," he says.
Keder advises parents to be aware of the need for their own time off and actually take it when it comes up. “Work on getting your five to ten minutes of Zen. We all need that, ”says Keder. "It helps you be a better parent."
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