Dear Abby: Young adult's life turned upside down by revelation

Dear Abby,
I took a DNA test seven months ago. It turned out that the man who raised me is not my biological father. My heart sank but I decided to meet my real father. We have developed a relationship, mostly a good one, and I now introduce him as my father. My problem is that we hardly know each other or how we react to things.
I've had a tough week. My older sister was very rude to me, I had a lot of college exams to take, and my best friend unexpectedly announced that she had to go away for six months. I just wanted to "run home" but then I realized I didn't have a home to run to anymore. My dad doesn't know that I'm very clingy when I get upset, so he wasn't aware of my constant communication, and I'm sure it came off as annoying.
My mom and I don't get along these days because she hid this secret from me for 25 years. Besides, most of the time I just wanted to go to his house because my three little siblings are there and I actually feel like family. What are you thinking Abby? am i too clingy Its understandable? How do I explain to him that I need to see her more often? If he says no, how do I deal with it?
— Adaptation in Ohio
If you want to have a better relationship with your birth father, slow it down and let him get to know you gradually. One way to do that would be to fix fences with your mom, believe it or not. Yes, she should have told you about your birth father years ago, but maybe she had reasons not to. One of them might have been embarrassment.
You ask, "Am I too clingy?" The answer is yes. You have a better chance of building a solid relationship with your birth father, his wife, and your half-siblings if you don't overwhelm them when you feel so needy. Your chances of finding the emotional support you need would be better if you talk to a counselor at your college's student health center if you're as stressed as you are.
Money disputes bring sisters into conflict
Dear Abby,
My sister and I inherited our mother's condominium a few years ago. She wants to sell it; Not me. She's been constantly throwing ridiculous scenarios at me about what "might" happen to our heirs if we don't sell, even going so far as to threaten, "If we don't sell it now, I don't think I want to sell." I don't even know what that means.
Fed up, I agreed to the sale. The problem is, at this point, I don't even like her. I'm not mad - I just hate the way she addressed me. I don't think I'll ever want to speak to her again and I'm sad about it. Any thoughts?
– Sibling Disaster in California
It's unfortunate (but not uncommon) for money to drive a wedge between family members. When your sister began her speech, you should have involved your attorney in the hearing. Because you wanted to keep the unit, you could have bought half of it and left you both what you wanted. If it's not too late, think about it. Since you never want to speak to your sister, I hope that over time your feelings will subside and fences can be repaired.
Dear Abby
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
This article originally appeared in the Providence Journal: Dear Abby, A young adult's life was turned upside down by a revelation

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