Joe Jonas’s Alleged Daily Wellness Regimen Makes Absolutely Zero Sense
Joe Jonas routine
A recent GQ profile of 31-year-old singer Joe Jonas begins with the line: "This time last year, according to Joe Jonas, the pandemic forced him to live a much more sedate lifestyle." 'Days before the quarantine looked as its current rhythm, as described throughout the article, is deeply enigmatic.
While Jonas is still waking up - brushing his teeth, pouring coffee over them - he takes time to meditate on Headspace, an Italian lesson on Duolingo and NPR's Up First
He has a mobile gym in his Tesla designed to keep his body moving "instead of just sitting around playing on his phone or watching a movie when he's down."
He has two incredibly specific Tanqueray Seville Orange cocktails every night, usually "as a gin and tonic with a small orange wedge".
There is more, but you have the idea. We're going to get on each other's nerves and suspect that none of these things ever happened on the same day, if at all. This is not intended as a minor for Jonas, but as a gentle reminder to readers that "celebrity routine" profiles are fraught with idealistic (if not downright ridiculous) mornings and afternoons and generally shed light on editorial integrity.
For example these cocktails. Jonas, who reports waking up at 7 a.m. and following a rigorous workout schedule - PT sessions, peloton, high cardio boxing, time in the sauna - is unlikely to have two sugary cocktails every night before dinner. It's a real migraine machine. It's nice to think he could pull off this lifestyle, but over time, whether the "perfect summer mood" or not, the persistent drinking weakens. It can even sabotage an ambitious exercise plan. And this guy tries to sneak extra workouts into the back of his car.
There are some redeeming tidbits in this piece. Jonas says he's in a group chat with a few friends and each morning each person writes a short list of the things they are grateful for that day. He also describes a weakness for dark chocolate. This is the angle celebrity profilers should lean into more, not just into the shock and awe headline habits of a humble New Jersey boy who disappeared in Hollywood. A good example? The candor of Zac Efron a few years ago when, while thinking about his Baywatch abs, criticized the punishing diet and cruel mental discipline it took to get there.
In the short term, Realism may no longer sell cocktails or meditation app subscriptions, but it is helping a fan base of 12.7 million people understand that you don't have to have a perfect day to have a good day.
More like that
Mark Wahlberg gave up his plant-based diet to eat 7,000 calories a day
Learn the Sunday routine from Peloton co-founder John Foley
10 things to do differently in your group chats for men only
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The post Joe Jonas' alleged daily wellness program makes absolutely no sense, first appeared on InsideHook.
The article on Joe Jonas' Alleged Daily Wellness Regimen by Tanner Garrity was originally published on InsideHook.
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