Motorious Staff Members Steal All Hellcats So They Can Stop Writing About Stolen Dodges
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The past few months have been tough for Dodge owners due to vehicle theft, but imagine how we feel when we have to have it all covered!
Since the pandemic began, Dodge owners appear to have been taking a hard hit with car theft. In a groundbreaking step, the Motorious team found a way to prevent this from happening: steal all chargers and challengers at the same time.
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The cars that were collected will later be set on fire in the streets of Miami Beach today as an effigy of the modern muscle car. Special guests include: the guy who passed the police in a Challenger Hellcat just to run out of gas and wandering around in a cow pasture with no cover on the phone, people running their Dodge in downtown Atlanta while they go into a gas station and Hulk Hogan (because why not).
We should note that if you left your French Bulldog in your Hellcat, it will be available for pickup after 5:00 PM today. Keys and weapons left in chargers and challengers will not be returned.
If you've read this far without realizing it's April 1st, our legal department has asked you to issue a full disclaimer that this is a poorly thought out April Fool's joke. Here we go:
As far as we know, no employee has yet stolen a Dodge Charger or Challenger. There won't be an event where Hellcats could be burned in Miami as local Covid restrictions don't allow gatherings large enough to hold the expected crowds. No French Bulldogs were injured in the creation of this post. And Hulk Hogan didn't report to any Motorious event.
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