RHOA 's Falynn Guobadia Says She Doesn't Blame Porsha Williams for Divorce: 'I Don't Know Who I Was Married To'
Falynn Guobadia opens up about the end of her marriage to Simon Guobadia - as well as her feelings about the businessman's engagement to her Real Housewives of Atlanta co-star Porsha Williams.
The 31-year-old reality star appeared on YouTuber Adam Newells Up and Adam! Show Thursday and gives an extensive interview about the ongoing drama surrounding their breakup.
The interview - Falynn's first since the news was announced - was eagerly awaited by Bravo viewers, many eager to see whether Falynn blamed Williams for their separation and whether there had been any infidelity in Falynn and Simon's marriage as claimed has been.
When asked about Williams, Falynn insisted the Dish Nation host didn't play a role in their marriage breakup.
"Nobody has that power over my life, my husband's life, and our marriage," Falynn said. "Simon and I were the ones who were married to each other. We're the ones who started a family and built a life together. I blame both of us. He's to blame, I'm to blame, and that's all. Whatever." always came after - not to say that it is right, not to say that it is wrong - but no, nobody has that power. "
Up and Adam!
RELATED: A Timeline of Simon and Falynn Guobadia's divorce: from filing to his Porsha Williams Romance
That being said, Falynn told Newell that she didn't know what actually led to her breakup, only that her time at Housewives caused a shift in her marriage.
"Everything started to change," said Falynn. “I don't think it was the show's fault… but it seems like other things are happening that I wasn't necessarily aware of. I'm still at a loss on this part of the answers. "
"Marriages are not easy ... It was hard work in our marriage," she added. "When it came to my marriage, like most women, I was very persistent. I worked damn hard to keep my marriage going."
"It's like he gave up," Falynn continued. "I've tried. I can make a list of all the things I've tried to make sure my husband was happy and I was happy at the same time and that the kids were happy. Women, we have a huge responsibility. I don't think so that I took a breath until Simon and I broke up. "
RELATED: Simon Guobadia Offers $ 50,000 to Anyone Who Can Prove He Cheated on the estranged Ms. Falynn Guobadia
Falynn Guobadia Instagram; Simon Guobadia-Instagram; Bravo / NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images Left to right: Falynn Guobadia, Simon Guobadia, Porsha Williams
Simon, 57, filed for divorce from Falynn twice - first in January (he later withdrew one) and then in February. He and Falynn had been together for five years and married for two years.
Simon and Williams announced their engagement in May after a month-long relationship.
"I found out [about their engagement] at the same time as everyone else," Falynn said Thursday. "I did not know it. In fact, I remember getting a phone call around 8am that morning when everything hit the headlines and someone said to me, 'Simon and Porsha, they are engaged' and I remember saying to me, 'No, my husband is many things, but he would never do that to me. He just isn't. " "
Since then, Simon has accused Falynn of cheating on him with an Atlanta entrepreneur - a claim the man later denies on Instagram.
Falynn also denied that she was unfaithful in her conversation with Newell ("I never betrayed my husband") but had no clear answer when asked about Simon's allegiance.
"I say this: Simon and I are not new to couples therapy. During one of our therapy sessions, I will never forget it - I actually never forget it - the therapist asked him, 'Have you ever cheated? Falynn? Would you ever cheat on Falynn ? " ", she recalled, claiming Simon's answer was," Simon won't get caught unless Simon wants to be caught. ' "
"Those words have stayed with me," said Falynn. (Simon has previously denied ever cheating on Falynn).
When asked if Simon was having an affair with Williams, Falynn was silent.
“I don't know who I was married to,” she confessed. "I can't answer that. I don't know. It just sucks. It hurts."
Porsha Williams / Instagram Porsha Williams and Simon Guobadia
Even so, Falynn Newell said she wants what is best for Simon, even if that means they are not together.
"I love Simon unconditionally and just want him to be happy," she shared.
"I meant what I said when I made my vows and I meant what I said when I told Simon I loved him unconditionally," Falynn said. "If he's happy, I don't care. I don't care how ... If my husband is happy, then okay. It hurts. It hurts like hell."
"Everyone has their own way of dealing with pain," she told Newell. “My husband hurts as much as I do. But that? That cost the cake. It hurt. That's the best way to describe it. I had pain."
The hardest part for Falynn? Can't see Simon's children anymore. (Falynn and Simon, who both had children from previous relationships, shared a blended family of eight children).
“I know I will be strong. I will do it, I always do. It's just the kids, ”she said through tears. "Our boys. You know exactly who this woman is and I'm not here to comfort her. I'm not there because I can't see her.
"I'll miss our boys. They are all so different," she said. “It's hard, but I'll miss it. And to cover them up at night. Our trips and Christmas ... "
RELATED VIDEO: "Porsha Williams Says She's Planning 3 Weddings With Her Fiancé Simon Guobadia -" And A Funeral For The Haters "
However, she is confident about the future.
"I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and my knight in shining armor is out there and hopefully he will come in due course," Falynn said, adding that she will change her last name.
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One thing Falynn won't do, she joked, is date rich men.
"I'll say I'm done with rich guys," she said.
"He was the first wealthy man I ever dated and I think I'm ready to be with someone who just knows how to respect me and love me the way I love him," she said . "Because I love hard. I love really hard. There is better someone out there who can respect that and I have to be positive because my kids depend on it."
Simon did not immediately respond to PEOPLE's request for comment on Falynn's interview.
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