Stay-at-home mom gets ‘so mad’ when husband tries to parent their son: ‘I feel like he’s calling me a [bad] mom’
A home-staying mom reached out to Reddit when she felt like her husband was going to call her a bad mom.
Posted on the subreddit r / ParentingFails, the mom explained her dilemma:
“My husband is a truck driver and he's gone all week. He is usually only at home 2 days a week. I am a housewife for our 3 year old son.
“Whenever he tries to say something to our son, I get angry. As before, he said I should try to cut down on his fruit consumption as he may be getting too much sugar - but he only gets two servings a day and he has a fairly balanced diet.
“[He says] I should look for better fruit or stop [feed it to him]. [He says] that he's just trying to give our son a better life.
“I get so angry. He's never here, and when he says something like that, I feel like he calls me a [bad] mother and I want to make him fail.
"How can I get him involved more in the upbringing without getting upset about it?"
In a later comment she continued, “I really appreciate everything he does and sacrifices what he brings so that I can stay at home with our son. My main thing is that when he tries to become a parent I feel like he is saying that I am not doing a good job so he has to step in on occasion.
She later added, "It feels like he's trying to manage me and not our son."
"You feel undermined, as if he doesn't trust you ..."
One Redditor wrote: “I say be open to his suggestions. Let him offer alternatives. If you agree with its alternatives, consider implementing them. It's not about right or wrong, but about promoting your commitment as a parent. "
Another user shared, "If he got home and you started criticizing his work ('You know, you really should be changing your cornering. And instead you have to use your gears to slow down') I bet he would feel like you do now! Annoyed!"
They continued, “Right now he is trying to get involved in decisions that you have already thought through based on the expertise you have gathered over many hours of parenting. Don't be afraid to be an expert in this field! Communicate your expertise - communicate the mindset behind the parental decisions you make. And if he wants to keep providing input, be open to including his perspectives if they are evidence-based. "
Another Redditor weighed in: "Parents will never agree on anything, no matter who is around the child or not. I understand where you are from and that makes you feel like a bad mother. My suggestion is to try [calmly] and discuss why he feels this way and explain why you feel the way you do. "
One user wrote: “You feel undermined and as if he does not trust you to make good decisions for your child while they are away. If he wants to participate at home, he has to stand on the floor and play with the child, bathe him, read to him, take him to the park and not joke about silly things like how much fruit he eats. PS he's wrong with the fruits. "
In the end, the original poster decided she needed to discuss these feelings with her husband - while also working to figure out why she took his post so personally. She also realized that she might feel burned out for working so hard at home and never getting vacant.
Hopefully this Redditor has found some peace in her home - and inspires staying home parents around the world too!
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“Stay at home mom” gets “so angry” when husband tries to raise her son: “I feel like he's calling me a [bad] mother” first appeared on In The Know.
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