Taraji P. Henson Reveals She Thought About Taking Her Own Life amid Coronavirus Pandemic
Peace of Mind with Taraji Taraji P. Henson
Taraji P. Henson opens a "dark moment" she had this year amid the ongoing novel pandemic of the coronavirus (COVID-19).
On her Facebook watch series "Peace of Mind with Taraji," the actress said she had thoughts of killing herself.
"I couldn't get up for a few days, I didn't care. That's not me," said the 50-year-old Oscar nominee in a conversation with co-host Tracie Jade and licensed psychologist Dr. LaShonda Green.
"Then I started thinking about finishing it," Henson continued, explaining that she recently bought a gun and thought, "I could go in there now and just finish it all."
Henson said she even thought about how her death would affect her son Marcell Johnson, remembering that she had thought, "He's grown, he'll get over it."
RELATED: Taraji P. Henson Reveals How Her Mom Made Her A "Fighter" In Peace Of Mind
The Empire star said that after two nights of these thoughts she knew she had to tell someone about it.
"I felt withdrawn. People called me, I didn't answer. I just didn't care. After all, I was talking to one of my friends and I knew I was smart enough to say, 'I have to say it," Henson said and added that part of her was "ashamed".
"I thought I don't want you to think I'm crazy," she said. "I don't want them to be obsessed with me or think they have to come and sit on me."
"One day I blurted it out to my friend. She called me in the morning and I said, 'You know I was thinking about killing myself last night,'" Henson said, taking a deep breath, then adding, "" Oh my god i feel so much better I won't do it now. "
Henson said that opening her mind helped her overcome them.
Michael Loccisano / Getty Images Taraji P. Henson
"I'm not a pro to me, but I felt like if I don't say it it will be a plan," said Henson. "And what scared me is that I did it two nights in a row. And the thoughts kept coming back. Now I started thinking about how. At first it was like I didn't want to be here. And then I started I was thinking about getting the gun, and that's why when I woke up the next morning and it blurted out, because I had a feeling that after a while it would take over me and it would be a plan, because it's so strong is my brain. "
Green reassured Henson that sometimes it is "perfectly normal" to have unhealthy thoughts, adding that opening them up can be a cathartic experience.
Last month, Henson opened up towards the end of her engagement to Kelvin Hayden.
RELATED: Taraji P. Henson Reflects On How She Has Fared Since Leaving The Engagement: "I'm Much Better"
"I'm a lot better, let's just say," Henson told Entertainment Tonight before hosting the American Music Awards in November.
The Hidden Figures star added to the outlet that she had a positive outlook again with her 50th birthday in September.
"I felt like I slipped and thought, 'You know what I'm not going to do is make 50 happen to me," she said. "I'm going to get mental control of it and not say, 'You're getting old, nobody cares, you don't work.' Well, duh, nobody is working, it's COVID. So I felt this coming. "
If you or someone you know is considering suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" on the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go toicidepreventionlifeline.org.
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Taraji P. Henson
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