The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Oct. 3-9)

Children may say the best things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So every week we round up the funniest sayings from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more information!
The parenting books didn't warn me that one day my 4 year old would ask me for it, and I quote "an popsicle but not a cold one".
-? Marissa? ‍♀️? (@ michimama75) October 5, 2020
Let's get married and have children. Instead of trying a pumpkin beer, you can stop crying while I go back into the corn maze to find the shoe.
- Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 6, 2020
My dad did a huge amount of childcare for us in quarantine so I'm happy to announce my 1 year old baby gestures and shrugs like a 64 year old Jewish man.
- Bess Kalb (@bessbell) October 4, 2020
What is the level of Stockholm Syndrome if your kid says, "I'm building a Lego house for raccoons" and you say "OK" and he says "It will be robot safe" and you say "OK". and then he asks if you want to hear more and do you actually say "yes"?
- Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) October 5, 2020
I tell my toddler to "ask nicely" and instead of saying please, he whispers his demands and I'm not even sure he's wrong
- No more Pinterest mom (@snarkymomtobe) October 8, 2020
I had to try to explain why China is a country and why my child also means unusual plates. Now I'm sitting here crazy about a whole language
- This mother Tho (@mom_tho) October 8, 2020
When I was in school, the sandwich bags didn't close. You just folded it over yourself, hoping for the best.
-? Mother mother mother mother mother? (@notmythirdrodeo) October 8, 2020
Beer before schnapps, never more sick, wine before football, ok that's actually a bit bearable.
- Lurkin 'Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 8, 2020
I just discovered that naming your child Victor is more or less the same as naming the winner
- Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) October 7, 2020
I asked my daughter if she knew why her soccer team was wearing pink jerseys this month, and my son stopped me and said, "Because of booby cancer," and I'm a very proud mother
- Trick or cute momissa (@sweetmomissa) October 7, 2020
Reasons Your Toddler Wakes Up At Night:

nightmare
Ill
Soft toy dropped
He realized he was falling asleep and woke up
No really, fuck you mom, sleep is for the weak
- New mother? (@LifeThrewLemons) October 6, 2020
2: Dad, you are my best friend!

Me: Oh, that's so cute.

2: Now help me clean up those Legos.
- A carrier from Dad News ✊? (@HomeWithPeanut) October 5, 2020
Yesterday I asked 3 how the preschool was and she told me that she doesn't like Karina because Karina is crying very loud, so I said that Karina may be sad and 3 should be nice to her, but when I did today picked up, I heard Karina crying very loud and now I don't like her either
- MumInBits (@MumInBits) October 7, 2020
My wife has just grounded all of the kids off electronics and television for 4 days and if you need me I'll be staying somewhere other than here.
- Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 4, 2020
My 5 year old who doesn't want to brush her hair because her "hair is tired" is another level of excuse that we can all learn from.
- Mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 3rd, 2020
Nobody:

12yo: ahhh, do you know that we can buy presents for our dog this Christmas?
- Nicole Chung (@nicolesjchung) October 7, 2020
Me: did you brush your teeth?

4 year old: Yes.

Me: Everyone?

4: * stomps back into the bathroom *
- James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 9, 2020
Ok, I'm jealous that teachers have the power to mute my kids
- ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) October 7, 2020
Connected...
This week's funniest tweets from parents (September 26th - October 2nd)
55 Hilarious Tweets About The Questions Kids Ask
Top 20 funniest tweets from women this week (October 3-9)
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This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated.

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