This Is the Worst Thing You Could Say to Someone in Bed
Sex is a healthy part of an intimate relationship - but it is also an extremely vulnerable experience. Whether you're in a long-term monogamous relationship with your partner, just getting to know each other, or immediately knowing it's a one-night stand, you need to communicate sensitively when you're both so - um - bald. This does not mean not being honest in order to please or impress your partner, but rather it means staying away from words that can intentionally or unintentionally leave wounds. For guidance, we asked relationship, communication, and mental health professionals to consider the key pitfalls to avoid. So what's the worst thing to say in bed, according to experts? "You're doing it wrong." Find out what to say instead, and for more factors that play a role in your bedroom activity, science says that men with these personality traits have the most sex.
Sure, you may not get the satisfaction you were hoping for from the experience. After all, you deserve joy, and it gives you the opportunity to work for it. But phrasing it like this can only make matters worse for both of you. "That statement can cause everything to go wrong the moment you spit it out of your mouth," says relationship expert Amy Olson. "I don't mean that you can't communicate your needs or what you'd like better to do. But don't tell him or her that you're getting it wrong. They'll be embarrassed. Instead, just say, 'Can you do it like this? '"
Would you like to know what else to avoid when getting to know someone better? Read on for more tips from the pros on what to never say to anyone in bed. And for another phrase that should never leave your lips, this is the worst thing you could say to someone who has just been divorced.
Calling someone with the wrong name.
Surely using the wrong name is a big no-no that would be profoundly awkward for both of you and is likely to leave permanent scars as well. "Sex is an intimate experience and many people experience insecurities associated with it," explains psychologist Thomas DiBlasi, PhD. "To say anything that indicates the person is inadequate in bed would hurt."
If you're still craving an ex, you may need some more work to do before you can move forward healthily with a new partner. Did you worry it might be you? Here are the signs that dating experts say you are no longer ready to date again.
"Have you been tested?"
Sad man looking at his friend who is lying in bed next to him
To be clear, it is important and fully justified to ask about a partner's sexual health. You should ask if your partner has been tested and you are entitled to a straightforward answer. However, this is a question that should be asked much earlier. "This is a preliminary briefing," says author and life coach Aidan Park clearly. "No debriefing." And for other questions to avoid in less vulnerable situations, here is the only question you always ask that can end a conversation.
"I had better."
Woman shrugs her shoulders, words every day
Comparing your partner to others from your past can lead to persistent uncertainty. "Saying something that undermines your safety or self-esteem is hurtful and harmful," explains Dr. Cassandra LeClair, lecturer in the Department of Communication Studies at Texas State University. "This type of comment increases feelings of self-doubt and can lead you to question yourself in future relationships."
While this may not be the partner for you, there is no need to destroy the trust of a future partner who may be a better match for you. And if you're doing it less these days, here's the main reason you're having less sex in your relationship, the study says.
"Do you mind brushing your teeth?"
Good dental hygiene is important and healthy
Of course, good hygiene is important, and you hope your partner is of a similar high standard as you. Bad breath is not necessarily a sign of poor hygiene, however. "Bad breath can be a symptom of digestive problems," says Sandra Glavan, the founder of Super Sensitive Sandi, a website that helps people reduce and manage anxiety. "Even if the person brushes their teeth five times a day, they can still have bad breath in the morning. Most people who suffer from bad breath know and feel very conscious. [Confronting them] can cause problems with their self-confidence . " Intimacy and sex life. "And for other ways you might offend people in your life, here are the rude things that you didn't realize you do every day.
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